where's my scarf?
by Clear-Colors
Summary: Russia's scarf was taken by our band of mischievous nations. But for what purpose? And were is Canada? Find out what little Mathew's plans for his and Russia's anniversary are. And the first chapter may be just light humor, but look out for hot and heavy chapter two!


It had been a long day.

Another world meeting full of helpless idiots. If it could even be called a meeting. Nothing got done, nothing ever got done, but today seemed even less nothing than usual.

Or maybe he was just aggravated.

Yes, it was true. Even the mighty Russia who always wears the childish mask of an unconcerned spectator, can be removed from his disposition when provoked. And boy, was he provoked to high hell!

It started yesterday.

***Flash back***  
><em>Ivan Braginski. For the past 729 days, he had waken up in his bed next to the warmth and comfort of his dearest love, Mathew.<em>

_Not that he was one to count the days of his relationship, it's just that the young Canadian had been sure to purchase a calender for his Russian lovers bedroom, and mark on it (in an anoyingly pink and hard to ignor way) their anniversary. Almost 2 years now. And if tomorrow was going to be anything like last year, he could expect his little Matvey to start cuddling up to him now and the day after._

_One thing Ivan had come to accept, was that Mathew was a cuddler._

_But their would be no such cuddling this morning._

_For the first time in 729 days, Ivan awoke to an empty bed. And in the spot were he expected his young love to be laying blissfully asleep, there was a note._

_Ivan hesitated. This was very much unexpected. Mathew was not one to leave notes ever, and especially didn't disrupt a sweet daily ritual of their good morning kiss..._

_But weary of it as he was, the Russian man picked up the note. It read:_  
><em>Ivan, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I have some things to do with Gil and Al today. I left around six and should be back by ten. See you latter! XOXO Mattie<em>

_The Russian scowled at the note with a look of pure hatred. Then he crumpled it up and threw it across the room. His aura grew as he 'Kolkolkol'ed softly, got out of bed and headed for the shower._

**_*Time skip*_**

_If that wasn't enough, Mathew called a little past nine. And as happy as he was to be able to hear his lovers voice for the first time today, he was not happy at this being the first call he's received, nor at what he had to say:_

_"So sorry Ivan! It got pretty late, so Francis insisted that we all just sleep over at Austria's place. I'll be home early tomorrow!"_

_"Wait just a second Matvey! France, Austria? I thought you were with your obnoxious Prussian friend and American idiot brother!..." he stopped and listened closely as Mathew mumbled something about a change of plans._

_"Tomato bastard! Let me go!"_

_"Fosososososososososososososossososososos~!"_

_That was definitely Romano and Spain in the background! But before Russia could comment, Mathew had said a quick goodnight and hung up!_

_Of course the god forsaken phone (and a few pieces of furniture) were destroyed that night, and unable to get any rest with out his snugly Canadian, Ivan started on all the paper work in his office before passing out around 4AM._  
><strong>*End flash back*<strong>

Russia had been pissed from before he even read that note yesterday morning. The fact that before he even opened his eyes, he could feel the cold absence of a certain ?Canadian boy disturbed him. Yes the note annoyed him, and seeing who his love was spending his time with (Really beiy, Mathew being with anyone but Russia would piss him off beiy) just pissed him off even more.

Of course he was ready to kill when Mathew called to tell him he wasn't coming home last night. And hearing how many people he was at some random house with could have pushed him over the edge. But he controlled his anger remarkably well.

Putting his mind solely on his work until he managed some form of sleep. It was astounding his minds ability to keep running even now with so little hours of shut-eye.

Russia halted the taping of his fingers to adjust his scarf around his neck. But there was nothing there. Ivan feels around at his exposed neck a little before the memories of this morning, flood back in harsher than a monsoon.

Russia looked at the nations around him now.

America, as always, was in his own little world. Ranting this time about how if they could just find away to like the ocean to the moon he could build a Starbucks up there and make a ton of money. China was reminding him to use that money to pay him back. Italy was sitting on Germany's lap, force-feeding some pasta to a extremely hesitant Japan. France had of course started another fight with eyebro- I MEAN ENGLAND! something or another about him being the 'black sheep' or what ever. Germany looked almost ready to snap.

Not that anyone but Ivan seemed to notice, but Canada was nowhere to be found (Alfred brushed him off when he asked about it beiy).

"That's right..." he mumbles, keeping a hand on his neck while the other resumes a steady tap.

Mathew didn't come back last night, and when he woke up this morning it was with a crick in his neck from falling asleep at his desk. He left his scarf right were it was when he took it off to cool down last night before he drifted off. Getting up, he glares at the phone on his desk, wondering if he should call his little sunflower or not. He tsk'ed, and went to go get ready for the world conference today.

Almost ready to walk out the door, he went back to his office in order to retrieve the abandoned scarf, and found it missing.

"That's right," he mumbled again, "My scarf is gone. Where the hell is it!"

"Where is what, mi amigo?"

Spain stood with that dopey smile, staring over the scowling Russian.

He had been so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the Spaniard walk in with an angry little Italian in tow.

Russia looks away. He feels so strange with out his scarf. Usually he would just smile and pretend like all the idiot occupying the meeting room with him were 'comrades' but today, all exposed, he can't even muster up the strength to pretend. He rolls his eyes with a tsk before looking away disinterested.

"My scarf. It's missing." He says, not thinking the idiot Spaniard could actually be of assistance, or that either of them could benefit from his relaying this information to the other.

This is exactly why the words: "Oh! Your scarf. I just dropped it off before we came here! Si, Lovi?" Said Italian blushes turning away.

"Awwww~ Lovi, you're sooooooooooo cute!

"I said don't touch me there you perverted tomato basta-" Lovino's sentence is cut off when said tomato loving country is hoisted into the air from the front of his shirt by a smiling Russia.

"H-how can I help you amigo?" Spain ask desperate, choking a little and trying his best to get his feet to reconnect to the ground bellow him.

Romano shook pale and frightened as Russia laid a hand threateningly on his shoulder. "Comrade," he began with a warm playful smile, but a cold deadly tone, "you will return scarf to me now, da?"

Spain tried his pants to chuckle, Lovino just shook in a way that could almost compete with Latvia's vicious tremors.

"Peace, mon ami. Antonio does not have your missing article. It's in, honhonhon, safe hands." France says walking over and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He had paused his fight with Arthur in order to save his friend from the clearly enraged Ivan.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol. You, comrades, tell me now, where is my scarf?" The way Russia said that was scary as shit.

But, both Spain and France are dumb ass holes.

"Ohonhonhonbhonhonhonhon~!"

"Fososososososososososososo~!"

Was Russia's only response.

"Come on, dudes! I don't get why this has to be some big secret! Let the hero tell him were his precious scarf is!" America says from his place standing at the head of the table.

"That would be wise, da, Amerika?"

"No way you burger gorging wanker! You'd ruin everything!" England says, earning him a few 'kolkolkol's from Ivan.

"Iggy, did you... JUST CALL ME GORGEOUS!? I LOVE YOU TOO! AND I'M SO TAKING YOU HOME TONIGHT!"

"I... said gorging... idiot..." Arthur mumbles between the fingers he's using to attempt to cover his heavily blushing face.

"My. Scarf!" Russia says seriously, interrupting a cute UsUk moment. This narrator, beiy, is almost tempted to say he did it on purpose...

"Ve~ I know were your scarf is -"

"Shut up you fool!" Lovino yells, clamping a hand over Italy's mouth.

"Ve~ Fratello's hand taste like pasta~!"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol~"

"I seriously can't be trusted with secrets! I told like a billion people about Russia's scarf on my way over here, Kesesesesesesesesesesesesese~!" Prussia says with a laugh,k entering the meeting room with Austria.

"Is that so comrade. Tell me now, da?"

"East! That was suppose to be for our ears only... and where is Hungary?"

"Oh, that pest?" Austria ask, cleaning off his glasses, "Kelly is hiding the body as we speak."

"Kesesesesesesese~ Jayde didn't like the pairings involving Roddy and her, so we killed her in this fan fiction!"

"Okay comrades, if you're done climbing the fourth wall, i would love to get my scarf back, da?" Russia says ominously, patience all but used up-

"MY PATIENCE IS USED UP DA? I'm taking control of this fan fiction Clear-Colors!"

"Wait beiy... WHAT!? You can't do that Russia beiy!" Clear-Colors says, not even noticing her words were already in quotation marks.

"No way! Now no one tell Ivan were his scarf is beiy!"

I was so annoyed that I almost had thoughts to crack open some skulls with my pipe, da? But deep down, I knew it wasn't in me. My Matvey is my energy source; he gave me strength and a reason to keep going. It hasn't even been two days, but not seeing him for even this increment of time is beginning to feel like a life time. I would have nothing to calm me down if I were to fly off the handle again, da?

(Cute beiy! Ivan, you're adorable. Keep going beiy!)

That, and my scarf. It was always there, raped snugly around my neck to protect and comfort me. I feel so exposed with out it da? And I apologize if this makes me sound like a child, but it is just mine and I don't want anyone else to touch it ever!

"Where," I say, voice thick with deranged anger, "is my scarf?" I take a couple steps twords the nations before me, causing them to take involuntary steps back.

"Russia, just calm down!"

"Come on guys! This can't really be worth are lives, aru."

"Heroes don't get scared! Heroes don't get scared! Heroes don't get scared!"

"You know, if I was to die, I wanted to die with Switzerland..."

"I'm to awesome to die!"

"Fratello, stop shaking, you're making me even more scared ve~"

"Shut up, you idiot, I'm not scared of anything! Do something tomato bastard!"

"Fososososo..." (Nervous laughter beiy)

"Answer. My. Question~!" I tell them, pipe swinging casually by my side. It makes a 'clink...clink...clink' every time it taps the ground. The sound soothes me slightly, but seems to have an opposite more powerful effect on the others. The group pales, and then, they're saved.

"That's enough, Ivan." One hand is placed on my shoulder as the other takes the steel tap from me and lays it disarmingly on the table.

"Kelly!" They say in a cry of happiness, some actually starting to cry from their joy. A general sigh of relief can be heard through the room, and said orange-haired youth chuckles in amusement.

"Keeley," I say, still slightly on my guard, "they have taken some thing of importance to me. You do not intend to stand in my way, da?" To my delight, he actually shakes his head.

"No, Ivan, I have no plans of getting in the way of what you want. However, this is not the object of desire. What you want, is your scarf."

That was true. As much as I wanted to murder my comrades, I wanted my scarf more. However...

"However, there is something you desire more than your neck warmer." He smiles at me, tilting his head. It's not a teasing look, but one of understanding and affection.

"Mathew?" He ask knowingly, before turning and heading twords the door. Of course, since he's Kelly, I follow him immediately.

"Thanks, Kelly! We owe you one!" That insufferable American slob screams.

"No problem, Alfred!" Kelly yells back happily.

I roll my eyes.

*Time Skip*  
>After Kelly took me to his car, we drove for a while, until I was sure I knew exactly where we were headed to: my place.<p>

"Keeley, I assure you, I already searched my house." He just smiles and keeps driving until we pull up in front of my driveway. A drive way that now holds a little red Jeep; joy floods my chest.

"Matvey is back?" Kelly nods, sliding out his own leather interior. I open the passenger door and exit the vehicle as well.

I start up the little stone path to my front door when I realize i'm not being followed. Looking back, I see Kelly leaning back comfortably on his car, watching as I make way to the front door. "Will you not be coming along?" I ask, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

Kelly stops, and stares in shock for a moment. Then he laughs, leaning forward slightly and covering his mouth. "No no no. You go. This is your story. Besides, I don't think I want to be around for chapter two!"

I shrug, walking up the three steps, an opening the screen door.

"Hey Ivan!" Kelly yells, and I turn fully to face him, "Have a happy anniversary!" (Kelly smiles genuinely beiy, in that supper amazing prince-like manner that he tends to do. His orange hair waves in the wind beiy, as the sun catches his bright brown eyes brilliantly beiy! He coolly turns and gets back into the car. With a wave, he drives off in the beauty of tomorrow beiy! I love Kelly bei- *gets mouth duct taped shut by Ivan")

With that, I go inside. What awaits me both shocks and terrifies me to the point of ecstasy!


End file.
